


Unusual Counsel

by Merfilly



Category: Fantastic Four (Comicverse)
Genre: F/M, Gen, Humor, Yuletide, Yuletide 2010
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-12-22
Updated: 2010-12-22
Packaged: 2017-10-13 23:37:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,314
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/142940
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Merfilly/pseuds/Merfilly
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sue leaves. Doom acquires. Hilarity ensues.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Unusual Counsel

**Author's Note:**

  * For [flyclops](https://archiveofourown.org/users/flyclops/gifts).



"I'm leaving and that is **final** ," Sue declared.

"Aww, Susie, don't be like that!" Ben immediately spoke up, but not a word came from the other corner of the laboratory.

"Does this mean I have to cancel my date to watch the brat?" Johnny asked. Ben answered for Sue, throwing something heavy at him.

"Though... immature boy does have a point, Sue. What about Franklin?" the big hero asked.

"Agnes has him, and I'll decide that after I make up my mind on a few things," Sue said in exasperation. She glared at her brother, but he was already absorbed in his own life again. She looked at Ben. "If he ever bothers to notice I'm gone, tell him I am tired of being second fiddle to his tinkering!"

"Got it, Susie. Be safe out there!" Ben admonished.

Sue nodded curtly, before leaving the labs, their headquarters, and all of the drama behind in search of somewhere she could think. There was always Namor's offer...but that just wasn't a good idea. Not with everything that had happened. She wanted Reed to pay attention, certainly, but not in that way. Maybe she could...

...The ground exploded around her, and there was a thunderclap of energy that made her draw up her force-field on instinct -- a second too late, and she fell unconscious from the attack overpowering her.

`~`~`~`~`

"Are you awake, Sue Storm?" The deep, resonating voice was entirely too familiar, and she wanted to just pull the luxurious silk sheets and soft blanket with its gorgeous quilt up over her head. However, noticing those details made her eyes snap open fully and take into account the whole room. Very masculine, in a lot of ways, but not personally decorated, so _not_ Doom's personal chambers, or so she dared hope. The fact she was in a dressing gown that revealed little was positive, other than the disturbing fact that she had been undressed... bathed, apparently... and redressed. "I see that Sablinova's people took good care of you in bringing you here."

"They kidnapped me, Victor. You probably paid them to." Sue sat up, against the headboard. She had nothing inhibiting her powers, and was in a bedroom, not a dungeon cell, and none of this made sense.

"I did. For I require you to serve as my adviser in matters concerning women." He indicated the standing wardrobe. "There should be clothing of a size to fit you there. I shall expect you in the dining hall, a place you are familiar with from nearly destroying it with your husband a few encounters ago?"

"I can probably find it, just as I can find my way to the front door," Sue bluffed.

"Do not provoke me, Sue Storm, as I have brought you here to be my guest, and to discuss the matter of Sablinova's birthday present with you," Domm informed her, making her jaw drop.

"Excuse me, but you paid your neighboring ruler's mercenaries to kidnap me so I can advise you on her birthday present?"

"Would you have come at a politely worded invitation to see Latveria?" he countered.

Sue blinked, shook her head, and then pointed at the door Doom was near. "Let's pretend I am cooperating. Out, so I can dress."

"I will go, to prove I am a gentleman, not because you order it."

Sue refrained from rolling her eyes until he was out of the room. Then she consoled herself on two facts. Eventually this was something Reed would pay attention to, and it wasn't as bad as if it had been Namor.

`~`~`~`~`

"Furs."

"She has become passionate about anti-cruelty to animals," was the counter.

"They make fake ones."

"No."

"Alright then, jewelry."

"Her personal collection is such that she could wear a new piece for every day of the month without repeating. That does not include state jewels."

"Perfume?"

"Refuses to wear it as it works against her professional interests."

"Oh, right, that whole 'I have a country to run, but I will finance it as a mercenary' bit."

"Sue..."

"Victor, if you expect me not to make some kind of witty remark, you've forgotten who I am married to, and who my brother is."

"I thought you in possession of better taste."

Sue started at the grim mask of her longtime enemy, then had to smile before laughing. "You do realize just how ludicrous this all is?"

"You do realize that I am utterly serious in the fact you are the sole woman I have any respect for outside of Sablinova that can give me advice?" he countered, but Sue suspected there was a lighter note in the usually grim voice.

Sue took a deep breath, and then launched into a new list of potential gifts, listening as Victor shot each one down. She was beginning to suspect this went a lot deeper than two rulers with long histories of alliance, and maybe to a more personal level. Of course, that really didn't bear thinking about, did it?

After having had most every traditional gift she could consider rejected as too feminine, already owned, or impractical, Sue turned to another tactic.

"How about forgiving any debt her country has with yours?"

"There is no debt between Latveria and Symkaria. Various interferences from Western powers have led to an elaborate method of balancing both countries productions versus imports, so we are both self-sufficient."

Sue stared at him a moment, then realized that such a method probably meant that Victor was able to access manufactured goods at cheap prices suited to his aims from both countries, not just his own foundries.

"So, pretty much any gift of statesmanship is going to be a fast 'no' as well," Sue surmised.

"Yes. Now you see the delicacy of the situation? Sablinova is my life-long counterpart in her lands, and we must have goodwill between our countries. It would not do for me to forget her gift, as such could be considered an insult." Victor's voice honestly sounded weary on that. "The only thing that might persuade her to overlook it would be an attack from your team or other interference on that line of thinking."

"And you'd still need to produce one after the clean-up....hey! That's not why you kidnapped me? To make a fight happen when I ran out of ideas?"

"The thought had crossed my mind," Victor assured her. "But there has not even been a missing person alert issued, to this point. I am watching, so that I will have warning to reduce the suffering of my people."

"You could prevent an attack at all by giving me a phone call."

"If you come up with an adequate suggestion, I shall. After all, I must have time to procure it," Victor assured her smoothly.

"Victor, there are many days that I am positive I will never understand you, but this whole event is possibly one of the strongest reasons why I know you are inscrutable."

"So I am."

`~`~`~`~`

Of course, contrary to all plans, Victor did not have enough warning, Sue did come up with the right present that Victor could not refute, and the beginnings of a fight stirred in the courtyard of the castle.

"Doom-bots, destroy!"

"VIC~TOR!"

"Ahem...Doom-bots, desist," the dictator countermanded on that shrill reminder of his word not to harm Reed or the others if they showed up, because she had found the right present. "If the gift fails..."

"Yes, I know, destruction at the Baxter Building, news at nine, blah blah blah." Sue shook her head, then looked at her husband being unwound from two robots. "And you! If you paid half the attention to me that Victor puts into maintaining his diplomatic relationships..." She stalked toward him, still haranguing him over his negligence, to the constant bemusement of her teammates, and a suspiciously chuckle-like cough from behind a metal mask.


End file.
